“you won”

she said. after months of ignoring me, denying me any humanity. what's my prize? i don't want to be alone, never wanted to lose the one who was supposed to show me the way. i said goodbye because it hurt, yet it continued to resurface through little comments and gestures here and there... i miss feeling like i have someone to turn to. ill always be thankful for this deep understanding of what it feels like to be receiving undue hate, and ill never forget what you've taught me.

wish i saw what i was earlier on my timeline. and echo of things that never began in me. but i'm still guilty, naiveite is no excuse.

wish we could've just laughed about the easter eggs, about the silly shit that ensued. wish i had an apology, but i won, so i guess that's pretty good. i feel the same. the wound is scabbing and closure is coming. for me at least.

my next house will be a cave.