Pen to the Paper 17

“At long last!!!” I said, jumping onto stage from an unknown origin, “Thanks, Dr. Strange,” I whispered behind me. “I don’t know about you guys, but it has been a really long month. I checked three times in December to see if I actually did this challenge in December, and I checked again in January to make for absolutely positive… I did. I even checked again a second ago. I have no idea why this last month has felt so long for me, but it did.

“But enough about me, I am assuming everyone knows why I am here. To talk about War and Peace! Okay, so, there is this guy, Count Bezúkhov, and he is super sick and dying. All of his family has their undies in a bundle over who is going to get his fortune: will it be split between his two eldest children, Prince Vasíli and the eldest princess? Will it be given to that rascal son Pierre that everyone seems to dislike, but Count Bezúkhov clearly thinks differently? Or has Anna Mikháylovna convinced her son’s godfather (the count) to give her the fortune? I don’t know, I’m not done yet. All the while this is happening, you have these three girls who act seven but are around the age of thirteen who are head over heels in love with these three guys who also act seven but are supposed to be around the age of seventeen, I presume, as all three of them are about to enter into the military. One of the girls, who is twelve, kisses Nicholas, the godson of the count. Relevant to the situation? No, I was just pointing it out. That scene weirds me out. I know that it was a different time and all that, but good gracious, man. She’s twelve! Though normally they act seven, there are other times where they act forty-nine. What else…

“I have read twenty-four chapters of this immense novel. And… Wait, you guys aren’t here to hear me talk about War and Peace? Oh. Wrong crowd, I guess. Well, in that case, PEN TO THE PAPER IS BACK, BABAAAAYYYY!!!”