How do you say hello, when goodbye is around the corner?

I am moving with my body,

but my mind has not quite caught up.

Going to school and digging holes in the air,

getting jobs that shake me with vigour and cause my skin to dance with electricity,

moving out with the ability to stretch my arms out fully without feeling their weight, without touching the sides of my confinement,

and loving someone.

loving you.

I continue to run into the future,

but you hesitate and draw back into the comfort of your corner,

alone.

and so I am left loving you, left loving a wall as you melt further into the concrete until your form is unrecognizable and I can't find you, I can't find the human I love.

Does my running scare you? When I reach out my hand begging you, telling you how much I yearn for your hand to slip into mine with ease,

to kick off together, running together to the unknown,

but you refuse my hand.

So I lower it and go on, walking.

But my mind has not caught up.

It is lost wandering the maze you have trapped it in.

How do I look at you again knowing you have held back your hand and regected my proposal? How do I look you in the eyes and open my mouth when you have glued it shut out of fear of being turned away forever? How do I welcome you back when goodbye lingers on our thoughts?