Losing You

I'm living without you now,

I don't watch your car pull into the usual spot

anymore

no more evening wine,

no more sitting close on every couch,

there's one less person to love my cooking,

and i feel your absence, of words,

I feel the absence

of our walmart conversations

and all our pictures by the pool

we won't have another winter together,

with you coming over despite the snow

your coat won't be draped across your chair

no longer will we warm each other from the cold

I'm fairly certain I think of you

most of the day,

most days

who do you talk to in the mornings now?

who worries after you and your unguarded razorblades?

I wonder, sometimes,

who is now putting themselves aside for you,

I sit and think of

who now abides your misery.

I'm living still,

all the time and every day,

I don't have your agony integrating me now

but

some days I can still feel

our thoughts touch from all the way

across town.