1. Have kids. They don’t give a flying fuck what the clock says. They want Cheerio’s in the Batman Bowl with the green spoon (that probably needs washing first), and they want it immediately. You will be so used to having your sleep snatched from you, that you probably won’t even notice that one measly hour slip away. Oh look, there it goes, along with your sanity. Bye-bye now.

2. If you are a little smarter, you possibly don’t reside with tiny humans, and therefore may get to travel a bit. In this instance, pack a suitcase before bed. When you wake up, adjust your watch (you may need to guess a little at this point), and then unpack your suitcase again. This way, you can trick your body into presuming you are jetlagged. And you know the best cure for jetlag, right? Yes, that’s right, any alcoholic cocktail you can get your hands on. Vodka in your coffee totally counts. And if someone says, ‘Hey you drinking at this hour? You know what time it is?’ You can laugh and say ‘no’ because you genuinely haven’t got a fucking clue. Is Google in charge of the time now? Are you? You’re drunk, you probably shouldn’t be. But seriously, whose job is it to reset the time on your phone? Make sure you pay through the nose to ring Direct Enquires to find out the actual time. Or stay ‘jetlagged’. Your call.

3. Again, if you don’t have tiny sleep thieves littering your home, you may consider this final option. Now this one you need to start the night before and you are going to want that Vodka. Or whatever other alcohol you can get your hands on. But go steady now, you’re going to need to pace yourself. This one may prove tricky if you are over the age of twenty-five. You are gonna just go straight through. Weekend bender. Deal with it Monday. You are going to feel shit no matter what.

If you are over the age of twenty-five, give it your best shot. You will pass out and wake up feeling like the aforementioned shit anyhow. And you definitely won’t care what time of day it is just as long as no one opens the curtains or breathes too loud.

In conclusion: make bad choices and Daylight Savings Time ceases to matter.