i miss u

you and your vanilla chapstick smile

your freckles that not even four o’clock sunsets could fade

the way the ends of your hair fell in soft curls

before you cut it all off

like all the friends and the feelings

that couldn’t match your idealism at their best

i miss the calluses on your fingertips

from plastic ukulele strings

the lyrics you memorized to stay alive

do you even hear them anymore?

do you feel them like you did

the trampoline cold against the soles of your feet?

in the backseat on the way to the aquarium?

it seems the words have gone room temperature

melodies like day-old coffee

i pour down my throat

hoping that perhaps i’ll feel real again

somehow