Some day..

I've known you since... forever.

And we never part.

I have felt your every pain, been there through your every struggle and heartbreak.

I have watched you choose others over me, anyone at all as long as you didn't have to spare me a glance.

And yet, in the dead of the night once in a blue moon, you tell me you love me.

I find myself believing you.

You harm me.

You ask me if I'm okay when I seem sad.

You insult me.

You coo and praise when I am in my prettiest of moods or when I do something right by you.

You've been with me from the start, as I have with you.

Does it tire you?

This relationship of ours; hate, love, hate, love and hate again?

How we go from the best of friends to the most bitter enemies and those long planes of numbing silence in-between?

Do you ever think of those nights where we lay together, listening to sad music, silently crying or desperately wanting to?

Do you ever think of those many moments where you call me... things that... no human being should ever have to hear from another?

I know you've been hurt.

I know you wouldn't have taken on these words and spat them in my face if you didn't hear them somewhere else, first.

I know you are broken.

But so am I... And all I want is the good moments with you.

Those little ones, few and far in-between, where you and I are whole again and everything feels right with the world.

It's funny.

I feel like I'm in an abusive relationship.

Maybe I am, in some strange way.

One minute, I am being treated right but even then, I wait and inevitably, you are disappointed in me, again.

That is what you do to me.

You love me a moment, you hate me for what feels like a lifetime, and then you love me again.

I could never leave you.

You know that.

I just want to make you happy...

I've only ever wanted to make you happy.

Everyone else but especially you.

You're the one person in this world I couldn't run away from if I tried.

Maybe some day.

I have to hope that I'll be enough for you, some day, because you know fully well I have little to hold onto, anymore.

I suppose I am grateful to you for trying to love a broken thing like me, as I do you.

Don't give up on me, alright, self?

Don't give up.

Some day..

I truly wish I believed we could ever be more than this.