Lost light…

Waking up, alone on the dock

to our lake house

to the cold and light

of day

not remembering

the time sleep took me

or the hours tears

fell

but remembering the

lateness in the hour

people left and I could

Let go

let go of the tears I held

when you passed

after I changed

the IV and

going to the living

room to get you

a blanket, a twenty

second walk at best

and it was just as if

you had taken a nap

no horrible end

I feared

and as I put the

blanket on you

your head

fell to the side

and I knew you were

gone, and when I called

your name and you didn’t

wake…

the light of the noon hour

had shined it’s brightest

just as if it were

only for you

and as I called the dr

no tears came

and when the coroner

came to take you

it was such a beautiful

day that I felt it right

that you should leave

in such beauty

as if the world used it

all up to see you off

and rightfully so

but it was no match for you

no match for the beautiful

person you are

…were

and it was the memory

of that day that I held

On to, that got me through

the days after, when decisions

that we had not prepped for

cropped up

and left me with tasks to

do, to take these final steps

of your life and see you off

in a way you wanted

to be remembered

and after the arrangements,

after the wake and service

and after the dirt hit the coffin,

i made my way

To the place you loved

and I let go, let it all out

so much so I cried

through the night

and passed out

waking the next day

still in my suit

and with dried tears

on my face

i made my way to

your chair, and reached

out my hand

and like a fool

I half expected it there

and I sat there the

rest of the day

wanting to feel you

there in your favorite spot

to feel the love that

we knew that held us

in the waning hours

of your life