How do I help you?

I've been in that dark place that you're in right now. Maybe it's not the same place, but I remember the pain. I remember the nights my heart yearned to cry yet my eyes remained dry, and the hurt was kept bottled up inside of me, consuming my soul so that all I could see was darkness.

I don't know if I love you yet. I care a lot about you and you are my favourite person in the world but I don't know what love feels like. It makes sense because I'm so young yet I don't know what this feeling, that is so strong, is. It sits in my heart and I let it consume me but this time in a good way because part of me wants you to consume me. Not in a sexual or romantic way at all, just...love i guess.

You're hurting so much, for so long and I want to help you but I am helpless. I know that there's no way I can actually help you. All I can do is to be there and support you. And it sounds selfish to say, but it saddens me to the core of myself, to the roots of my emotions. And I know it isn't good for me.

I'm scared that one day I'll lose you. I'm scared because I know what it's like to want to give up and give in. I'm scared because I care about you.

I don't know how to help you without destroying myself.