gone

you left like a snow flake melting in the warm sun

you died like the leaves in autumn, begging me to go with you

you left like the sun when the rain descends

you left me.

everyone leaves, in the end.

or i leave.

it always seems i'm chasing my tail

in circles

around

and a r o u n d

and a r o u n d.

when does this sickening merry-go-round

end? when can i have the stability i crave?

i feel as if i've stopped growing or maturing

while the world continues to spin on and on and on...

i don't deserve this. i did nothing to lose you,

nothing wrong. this is unfair. everyone else had more

time, more moments, more laughs, memories, tears,

everything...

but me.

you won't be there when i graduate from high school.

you won't be there when i get my first car.

you won't be there my first day of college.

you'll never meet my boyfriends or friends and

you'll never walk me down the aisle.

marriage always seemed dull and boring but

if it meant you were by my side that day,

it would be worth it.

i think that now.

now that i will never get that

i think...ask...why.

was one not enough?

why not take two?

are you going to pick them off

like apples on a tree till only

i am left?

or will i be next...

will i be the next to die...

to be buried in the spring

with dying flowers adorning my grave.

will that be me?