Surfing

Who would have guessed that a top-heavy dude wouldn't be good at surfing?

For all my life I've felt a call to the ocean and a deep passion for surfing. It's simply felt like part of my DNA. Point Break (1991) is my favorite movie, and Jack Johnson is my favorite musician and I doubt it's a coincidence that both have ties to surfing.

I got my first chance to try surfing on a vacation to Tofino over a decade ago. It was a birthday present that included private lessons at the surf just in front of our hotel room. I could not have been more stoked! In my mind I was going to pop-up on the board like a natural and carve waves that would be the envy of everyone else.

My instructor, a young blond dude, was all of about 120 pounds and lean from head to toe. Beyond that he was a semi-pro surfer and the top-level lifeguard in the region. Yup, I was going to amaze this tiny man with my natural skills!

Then a day of harsh realities happened.

First, on the sandy beach, I learned that my well-worn knees don't allow me to do anything close to a "pop up". It's easiest to picture my talents if you imagine a seal flopping around on the rocks.

Second, now in the water, I learned that dudes with most their weight up around their shoulders do NOT have a low center of gravity... apparently that's important. I could easily push my way through the surf like a linebacker, but get on the board? No chance!

Sensing my frustration the instructor came over to give me some calming words of encouragement. That went ok until the little bugger hopped up on his board from chest-height water, then stood there like he was on a sidewalk. I wanted to hurt him.

There is no doubt that I suck at surfing. I'm built for manual labor, not for sports requiring finesse, and as I get older the chances of ever getting up on a board become slimmer and slimmer. But surfing is still in my DNA and I'll continue to do frustrating head plants into freezing water every chance I get.