April 14, 2022 1:10PM

i force myself to brush my teeth

just so i don't forget my face in the mirror

tell myself "yes this is who I'll be today - this is who I am"

and wash off this cocoon that swallows my head

like they say

sweet is the crown that wears this cotton candy head

or is it the other way around?

or is something else wrong?

the questions stir

something I don't fully like

snaking a pit there

the size of a star

right below where my stomach

sends its busy work,

this pin-sized star's

not too big to make me bleed

but small enough that fields of apple trees

can cover up all the blood

from just a single seed

it threatens to grow and mold

yet never does

just there, ever static, ever dull

waiting

in disbelief, I finish off while pissing

foam spit drowned in yellow

I stare, pulled by my river, forgetting

what someone who was close to me

from another life

told me this morning