I wanted to matter.

I thought the only way to matter is to help people directly — community outreach, counseling, etc. I was always so anxious and uncomfortable doing the work, working face to face with people.

When I finally got a job that was administrative, I breathed a sigh of relief. There were no constant phone calls, no urgent emails-just me and the data.

I’ve been fighting through the discomfort because I thought that would make me better.

Now that I’m out of that field, I feel like I’ve emerged from the water. This suits me better, I thought. But does it matter?