Medical Science and Health Care Premiums, a dance in E major.

I bet he thought that hand really cheered me up, really consoled me. But guess what, nothing is going to cheer me up after I find out from the sixth doctor this month that it would be medically impossible to convert all of my exterior limbs into robo-mechanical-dual-powered-action-elastic-connectors with light up tractor beams installed inside the forceps.

“Why won’t you let me live my dreams?” I begged the doctor, hoping that in the time it took for me to cry for help, medical science would have advanced enough for me to walk out of the OR with all my exterior limbs converted into robo-mechanical-dual-powered-action-elastic-connectors with light up tractor beams installed inside the forceps.

And then the strangest thing happened, reader. The absolute strangest thing. In the time it took me to ask my doctor why he wouldn’t let me live my dreams of converting all of my exterior limbs into robo-mechanical-dual-powered-action-elastic-connectors with light up tractor beams installed inside the forceps, medical science had advanced enough that it became possible for me to walk out the door that day with my requested robo-mechanical-dual-powered-action-elastic-connectors with light up tractor beams installed inside the forceps.

It became possible for the doctor to install my robo-mechanical-dual-powered-action-elastic-connectors with light up tractor beams installed inside the forceps, but that didn’t stop the accountant from bursting through the door into the OR and crying out, ”But sir, you forgot to pay the 2,000,000,000 dollar down payment on your new robo-mechanical-dual-powered-action-elastic-connectors with light up tractor beams installed inside the forceps.”

And just like that my dream was dead again.