On the catastrophic return of the Astral Vortex
Dear prosers prosettes and proseters. in the past few weeks I have been terribly unproductive, feeling mostly blank and bland. I have written very little and cannot bring myself to even read much. you may say that it's just the world being particularly nasty, or the cold that I can't seem to shake, it could be the exhaustion of work, or the worries.
You might say all that... but no it isn't any of it.
you see...
this is not the first time that this has happened. it's called the Astral Vortex.
I'm trapped in the Astral vortex again!!.
there!
I admit it.
the fucking vortex.
spinning and crushing, squeezing and stretching, all on a plain of existence that I have no control over, but can painfully feel the results of all too well.
And so I have decided to write about this awful, awful mess of a thing that whorles around and sucks out any will to do anything.
it is quite possible that you are also enthralled by the Astral Vortex, and perhaps could better deal with this curse, or at least draw comfort from the misery of others. because enjoying from other people's suffering is what it's all about...
1) I try occasionally reading what others write. and I can't help but feel that what i put out SUCKS!!!
well, duh..
that's right! the vortex takes away the Mental padding that is normally layered upon the inner self, to sheild against the realization that i don't have anything like talent, or basic knowledge of human languages to make for passable writing. even worse, older things that I have written, are by far better than the crap I put out more recently. it's not much better, but it is at least something. comparatively speaking, of course. it is a wonder to me how I managed to summon the words and string them up, placing them in correct functionality and purpose. if not tastefully so.. i feel a need to try and understand, how i was able to do some things, when those skills are now long forgotten. an archeologist struggling to understand how the pyramids were built, at least knows the materials that were used and the laws of physics that governed this effort. i do not.
incidentally, this of course is also a poor analogy, as that the pyramids were monumental acheivments of man's will , determination and ingenuity.
again, this is the vortex spinning all that pointless self deceit away, and stripping you bare of all protection. it was never good, or well - structured. I just believed it was. and this is certainly NOT an acheivment!
2) the vortex often takes me to a place where I have to face the hungry eyes of the evil ones.
This happens about every morning; the methods inwhich the vortex transports me to that place of misery is something I shall never really know. but a quick glance at those evil ones.. oh, the horror..
in any case, the vortex relishes the agony and frustration. it feeds on that rich, bitter ,
sap. and peers at you greedily. and you know that there... is...no...escape..
3) Whenever I make some feeble attempt at resistance, the vortex finds a direct or indirect means of thwarting my efforts.
it is very creative and resourceful in anticipation of my plans and it has a wide range of ways and endless resources to intercede, interdict, frustrate , distract, confuse, or crush (if need be) my efforts.
they say madness is trying something that fails again and again. but they do not know about the Astral Vortex. it's easy to talk about doing other things, when you don't have a temporal funnel sucking things over your head.
4) The world seems to be developing all kinds of stuff I have absolutely NO UNDERSTANDING ABOUT.
things are moving very fast now, suspiciously so...
5) There is a truck that is stacked with massive sacks, right in front of me. it is filled with SUPPOSEDLY garden trimmings. all kinds of branches and leaves sticking out.
yeah, right. the ability to notice that something is off is something the Astral Vortex takes last. i can't claim to know what is REALLY hiding inside those sacks, but it's nothing good...
6) Rotationary Symmetry doesn't really exist.
there!
draw a ' Z' on a notepad, turn the note a 180° turn. is it really the same? did the note end up in EXACTLY the same position?
didn't think so!!!
7) Overeating.
mostly crap. but the point is that the Astral Vortex doesn't really mind the quality. it really only cares about tonnage.
8) Other people sense the despair!!
frankly, it isn't that surprising. they all have this gouch kind of look. this disdain, saying basically "what? so what if you have the Astral Vortex? boo hoo...you know, i've got troubles too, buddy" . others prey on your eagerness to find refuge and try extorting you and shaking you down.
9) I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. That's my dream. That's my nightmare.
yes, it's not original, but duplication is the sincerest form of mitosis .
10) Moss covers the boulder that once was the gateway. the scepter of T'rang is not in my hand, so there really isn't much i can do about it.
if you ever thought the opening of the great portal of Zaggorla would be as easy as saying "open seseme" then you need to get your head examined. the great portal depends on so much to function and open that it would be about as likely to get the thing open as to get some random construction material and dynamite, blow the thing up and get a type-C life-form compatible outhouse. it COULD happen but it almost undoubtedly won't.
now. i do not know how this is going to end. it could be that the vortex will trap me inside some dimentional dungeon, or that it will just move on to filthier pastures. my spelling will never recover, that's for sure, and the weight i gained in my anguish is most likely here to stay. scars, and landing rings, severed tentacles and ossified hopes. i wish i could offer you, dear reader, some hope, if you are reading this tripe. but the very fact that this is arranged in a shopping list just crystalizes how low this could go.
if you are the chosen one, i urge you! the time is neigh! go forth and vanquish the overlords of Gar-Valoom and bring the virpal scepter forth. just hurry up , please.