O SHI

April 18 2022: I turned on the television.

"In other news, a 12-year-old girl was murdered last night by her estranged father Jeremy Jurpurson after being brutally -"

April 17 2022: I turned on the television.

"In other news, an elderly man was assaulted on the subway in what authorities are calling -"

April 16 2022: I turned on the television.

"In other news, a video has gone viral of a shoplifter walking out of a store with several hundred dollars worth of -"

What is the exact value of a human life?

April 15 2022: You get the idea.

Until eventually...

April 18 2022: I turned on the television.

"Breaking news! The F.B.I has released new details in what many are calling the crime of the century... because of course no crime has been committed in a century."

The television showed helicopter footage of a massive sinkhole.

"At the bottom of this seemingly artificial geologic feature, an amateur spelunker made a shocking discovery: Hundreds of thousands of human corpses, miles across and in some places several hundred corpses deep. Yet, somehow, perfectly preserved, as if their flesh had turned to plastic."

The camera cut to a fidgety little man, whose eyes bulged slightly out of their sockets as he spoke.

"Yeah, so... when I found the bodies, I thought it was just a gigantic doll collection, like the terra cotta army or something. So I cut into one of them, to see if they were solid or hollow and..."

His eyes went wide. "It was alive! Like cutting into a steak for dinner, except the meat started jerking in pain! But the plastic shell never changed, their mouths frozen open in a silent, eternal scream!"

"You've amassed over ten million followers on TikTok after posting footage of the bodies. That's got to feel good, are there any causes you'd like to promote with your newfound celebrity?" the reporter burbled cheerfully.

"Yeah." said the man. He was composed, though he could hardly contain his fear. "I want to find the person who owns this collection, who froze these poor souls and burned their names into their own flesh. Jeremy Jurpurson - First Degree Murder. Adolf Shitler - Genocide. Rodney Lemon - Shoplifting. Your names will not be forgotten!"

"Well, the curtains have been pulled, and free will was an illusion all along! Back to you Tom."

April 19 2022: I only went back a century because honestly? Righting all the world's wrongs got boring after awhile. I get that I could have prevented so much more suffering, but, you know... once you've seen enough depravity, you start to become a bit desensitized to it.

Panning around, it looked like people were starting to realize that crime was allowed again. They dipped their toes hesitantly, then jumped in headfirst, using their firstborn children to cushion the impact. Riots in every major city. Nowhere was safe. Kind of a thrill to watch, actually, like a house of cards tumbling down.

April 20 2022: I blazed it, and the world burned