Couch Potato

I don't think she remembers putting me here while she was eating her rice and chicken. Why does she keep looking around like she's lost something.

Oh wait! She's looking for me.

Shhhh... Don't make a sound, Isaac.

Perfect! Now she's getting up and going into the kitchen. I little more time left alive.

I must admit, I see why she sat here so long, this couch is super soft! It sure does beat getting eaten or getting put back into that weird machine that got really hot.

My cousin told me ovens and microwaves were my worst enemy, but that thing HURT. Not to mention it is surprisingly loud. This is a great tan though and this sour cream, chives and shredded cheese is a great look. A guy could get used to this.

Wait! Why does she have Michael in here hand!? Oh no, she's cooking him too! No, I'm over here you misplaced me between the cushions

Hold on, I hate Michael. Yes, Kelly! Roast that fu****!

(Kelly sits back down and eats Michael.)

She's definitely forgotten about me.

Dog: BARK!

What's this thing?

Dog: *Sniffs*

This can't be good.