Addicted

The letters in my mind have jumbled

Into words that haunt me in my sleep.

Those words are all I think about

As I drag through the day, feet

Shuffling across the cold, hard ground.

I follow around, not sure where I'm going;

My home is gone.

I follow strangers to the foul park,

The abandoned woods, the decrepit houses,

All while the words are still in my mind.

Anxiety fills me up, and I drown it

With a few sips.

The words are gone now.

I wake up in a bed that I don't recognize.

10 missed calls from my parents.

But none from the one I love.

My head is pounding and my throat is dry.

The words are returning.

I can't do this right now, can't think about

The one I love. 

Ever.

Just a few more sips.

Swallow a few more pills.

Take a couple more naps.

Miss a few more days.

Anything to keep me distracted.