Social

Social media terrifies me.

I struggle with social anxiety (self-diagnosed, of course, I'm too afraid and broke to go get a real diagnosis), so maybe a fear of anything public comes with the territory.

Or maybe it's due to the fact I'm a cusp baby, born in 1997, right between the Millennial generation and Gen Z. So maybe I didn't fully inherit the natural and fluid grace with which most Gen Z'ers handle their Snapchats and TikToks.

Maybe.

All I know is every time I snap a picture and cue it up to post on Instagram, I am seized with the palpable desire to fade into inexistence.

I type, and re-type, the caption until it becomes a jumbled mess of barely coherent words,

and eventually

I just delete it.

I watch as my friends share their exciting news, strong beliefs, and beautiful images with the world and I think

How did they get so brave?

When did they overcome their fear to be seen and heard, where did they find the faith that people would watch, listen, and care?

Maybe they didn't.

Maybe they do it, regardless.

Maybe they choose to live in the spotlight in fear

Of not living at all.