i don’t miss you, i miss the person i was before i let you treat me like shit.

I know I loved you once.

I know that once upon a time,

You meant everything to me,

And I was at peace.

I often think about you

And how we were.

‘Often’ meaning everyday

And against my own will.

If I could, I would

Erase you from my memory.

Not the good parts,

Just the parts where you hurt me.

Our memories haunt me,

But I don’t push them away.

I bask in the memories of us

And wish that I could go back.

I miss the way you called me every night.

I miss how you felt like home.

I miss being able to sit in silence with you.

I miss you.

I cared for you every single second

Of every single day.

I cared about you so much.

I cared about you too much.

I felt you slipping away,

I felt me losing you,

And I desperately tried to

Hold onto you.

I fought for you,

I fought for us.

But I was fighting a losing battle

Because you weren’t fighting.

I was the only one who cared.

I was the only one who was hurting.

I was the only one who was

Trying to keep us alive.

You didn’t care.

You weren’t hurting.

You were fine.

I wasn’t.

You knew I wasn’t ok,

And you blamed yourself

For my pain,

But I never did.

You continued to blame yourself,

Degrading yourself every chance you got.

But I never thought those things.

I never thought those things.

I told you what was wrong,

I told you I was hurting,

And you told me that

It was my fault.

Your words told me that you cared,

But your actions proved them wrong.

How can you claim to care about me,

Then leave me at my weakest points?

You said you cared,

You said you’d be there.

You never did.

You never were.

I knew I was losing you,

I knew that it was too late.

And yet I continued to fight for you,

And I lost myself in the process.

I gave you my all

And got nothing in return.

That’s when I realized,

I was hurting because of you.

You were right,

It was always your fault.

You were wrong.

It was never my fault.

So I let you go.

I didn’t want to,

But it wasn’t worth

All this agony.

It hurt.

It hurt for a long time.

It still does,

And it will continue to hurt.

You no longer hold a place in my heart.

You no longer bring me joy.

You no longer feel like home.

But I still care for you.

I hate you for what you did to me.

But I won’t stay hung up on it.

I’ll live my life without you,

And I’ll find peace again.