5 clever hacks to beat the summer heat
tired of the AC? ice cream doesnt do it for you? well, here are some suggestions that can take the edge of any heatwave..
1) live underground-
mole people have been breezing through the worst of summers, by just living their lives underground. conversly, you can go the other way and spend your time in the stratosphere, where the ambiant temperature is always below freezing. how can this be accomplished, may be debatable, but it is sure worth it.
2) install radiator vaines on your skin.
that's right folks, a simple oparation is all it takes, you'll be feeling the refreshing coolness as heat is tranferred out. speaking of refreshing yourself, if you are really in need of a good colling, the best thing is a well-chilled IV drip. oh you will savor the moments as coolness courses through your blood.
3) overturn a major foundation of human civilization.
it's not for naught that most wars break out in the summer. the moment of knowing you ruined the lives of millions sends a wonderful coolness down your spine.
4) dedicate yourself to the study and performance of elevator music.
nothing feels better than soft, derivative music. you hear its slow tempo, and enjoy its predictable harmony and melody. it all goes back to Home.. you'll struggling to restrain yourself from responding to the ringing voice in your head, saying "waiter, i'm sorry, but could you please bring me more bread sticks? my lady friend hadn't come yet.." expect no tips, just lije then. but the place was air conditioned to perfection.
5) watch certain movies bwckward and in slow motion.
films like 'Frozen' , 'Moana' , 'Lethal weapon II', and Ken Burns' 'Baseball' contain a cunning, little known bonus. sure, some of the films were downright upsetting, badly written, annoying, or could have covered more, but they may have this redeeming aspect. all you need to do is back, put on one of these filns in. just let it slowly play out from end to beginning. the chill comes as the rewinding starts unintelligably. it is not unknown why only these films produce such a reaction, but it has not been observed in any other film..