Pen to the Paper 23

"Alright, true story. I was at a summer camp that I have been going to since I was seven. I am a counselor there now, actually. And this eight-year-old girl was sitting all by herself on tournament night. We'll call her Charlie.

"I sat down next to Charlie and struck up a conversation as best I could. Not great at doing it, but I figured I'd be able to find out something about her by asking about her week with which I could then continue a conversation with her.

"After I asked the first few questions, another girl walked up to the table. We'll call her Riley. Riley is ten, maybe. She has been going to the camp for a while now; I'm not quite sure how old she is, though, because, as a male counselor, I don't spend much time with the girls. Without any hesitation, Riley sat down and said, 'Charlie has a crush on Caleb!'

"Charlie furrowed her eyebrows and shook her head to demonstrate the absurdity of the statement. I chuckled to myself. 'What? No,' she said. 'First off, I am WAY too young for that. Second, there's a MASSIVE age gap here. How old are you?' she asked me.

" 'Eighteen,' I replied.

" 'That's a ten year age gap.

" 'Well, you have a crush on Caleb,' Riley said. She continued to tease Charlie a little more before saying, 'Well, I have nine boyfriends!'

"My face dropped and I gave her a quizzical look. 'What? Riley, that's wrong. You can't have nine boyfriends.'

" 'Yes I can! And I do! I have nine boyfriends, and I'm cheating on all of them. I plan on marrying one of them, though. He's cute. He already has a little bit of a mustache, too.'

"I stroked my baby smooth face, still incapable of growing anything, and opened my mouth to protest again. Realizing it was hopeless, I shut my mouth and let her keep talking. Charlie had my back anyways.

" 'Where's your phone?' Riley asked me.

" 'At the bottom of the pond,' I replied.

" 'Wait, seriously?'

" 'Yep.'

" 'No, it's not!'

" 'Yeah, it is. We're going to hold a competition tomorrow to see who can find it. The first person to fish it out is getting a trophy.'

" 'How did it end up in the pond?'

" 'I was swimming, and I left it in my pocket,' I said, getting cocky with how unbelievable I made it sound. No one swims in the ponds anymore.

" 'You went swimming in there!? That's disgusting!'

" 'Yep! I went swimming. An—'

" 'Caleb! Carpetball! Table two!'

" 'Ope, I gotta go.'

"After the carpetball match (in which I destroyed a little girl, made her cry, and felt like a horrible human being. Okay, I didn't 'destroy' her. It came down to the last ball. I said that I was sorry and git a hug, so we're good. It probably helps that I am really close friends with her older sister), I walked up to one of the girl counselors, we'll call her Leslie. I told her about Riley's story and finished with, '...so I just gave up because I figured it was pointless and I was getting nowhere.'

"A few times throughout the night, Riley asked me where my phone was. I just kept telling her that it was at the bottom of the pond. She believed it—or, at the very least, acted as if she did. So I walked up to Leslie later in the night and told her, 'If Riley asks, my phone is at the bottom of the pond, and we are holding a contest tomorrow to see who will find it. The winner gets a trophy.

" 'Okaayyy…'

"Around one in the morning, the counselors were cleaning up before 'counselor-chill time'---the time after the tournament where some counselors choose to stay up and talk until three in the morning. Anyway, it's one, and Leslie walks past me. She stops and says, 'You know why Riley was asking where your phone was, don't you?'

" 'No…' I replied.

"Leslie's face pulled into a cheesy grin. 'Number ten,' she said.

"We started laughing and went about our business. The next day, I was hanging around with my tent, and Leslie walks up and asks if Riley still think that my phone is at the bottom of the pond.

"Now, it's important to note that my phone was in my hand at this time. 'Yep,' I said.

"Troy, another fake name for a kid in my tent, asked, 'Wait, your phone is at the bottom of the pond?'

"I tossed my phone between my hands, then put it up against my ear. 'Yep,' I said.

" 'What!? How did it end up there!?'

" 'Oh, y’know, I went for a swim and I accidentally left it in my pocket.' I took my phone off my ear, examined it, and put it back.

" 'H-how!? That's like—'

"Leslie and I exchanged looks. 'Troy,' I said, pulling my phone off my ear and chuckling. 'My phone is right here.'

"Leslie and I started laughing, and that was the end of that.

"Anyways, thanks for coming out tonight! Pen to the Paper 23 is out now!"