To Trump, from America.

My Darling, Donald.

Okay scratch that-

let’s not be too formal (lord knows you don’t know how to be anyway)

and I’ll just out with what I’m trying to say.

Being with you was so exciting in the beginning,

Your passion was such a rush, you were so different. So- above it all. I always thought you had just been misunderstood.

Looking back, I’ve realized that in all reality you were as hard to swallow as “Trump Steaks”

These last few months have been great, but I didn’t really think this was actually serious, and I think we can forget about tomorrow

I remember the day we met. I should have realized then you were playing me. When you told me ‘an extremely credible source’ -who I still haven’t met by the way- called you and told you my man wasn’t loyal. That he was lying to me about his birth certificate. Man you played me for a fool.

The next time I heard from you, it had been so long since that first little incident that you were basically irrelevant. But I heard you out when you told me that I just needed someone to blame for my problems.

Baby, I know you were hurt, but i’m not like you. I don’t need to build walls around my heart. You were like a frightened, hairless puppy.

So I gave you a chance. It was charming in a sad way. But then you were picking on handicapped Journalists and calling women ugly fat pigs, undermining war heroes who got caught (in the meantime you’re getting caught up in your lies) I had to hear through the grapevine about your little Trump University scandal, all the while you’re calling my neighbors down the road rapists and Ben Carson a child molester, I can’t be seen in public with you anymore. and don’t even get me started about the other day. Ain’t no one pledging allegiance to anyone in MY house but ME.

I’m not shallow, so don’t think this is because of your small hands. We just like different things. I like freedom and the pursuit of happiness, and you like the KKK and uneducated people. Unlike you, I like Megan Kelly and am not concerned with what comes out of her eyes or wherever. I take pride in how the world views me. I know it DOES matter what people think of you even IF you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.

But look at the bright side, you won’t be lonely, what with you taking out terrorists’ families and dating your daughter.

And hey, I agree. I do need to focus on being great again. But with you in the picture, that isn’t happening.

Sincerely,

America.

P.S. I really think you should see someone about that growth on your head.