Cooking with Lignite

remember the film 'Zorba the greek' its all about mining lignite. those mediterrenian peculiaritues are just what i lool for..

i know what you're going to say: 'no one cooks lignite.' and it's true to some extent. bituminuos or anthracite have a better showing on the dinnertable when you need to whip up something for a family.

but i have a guilty secret: i never buy that expensive stuff and no one knows the difference.

you see, the secret to making use of a few choice slabs is reduction and liquidication. sure the solubility ratio is different, sure you get a different viscocity, but lignite is MUCH richer in magnesium and phosphorus, and the crystalline aftertaste leavs hints of pottasium and zinc.

i was first introduced to lignite by my nana. she always cooked lignite. she came from different times, when any mineral that you were lucky to dig out would go into the pot. some melted non-ferrous metals, or freshly mined silicates. but you make do with what you got , and sometimes this is what you need to get a culinary masterpiece.

in a preheated furnace (900°c ) add a straight flow of oxydizing retardents (arsenic works best, but don't overdue it. ) add the lignite. do not let it oxydise yet!!

now, as gass convection kicks in, add the plutonium. don't go overboard with the enrichment level. its all good and no one can tell the difference. now, reduce the temperature and wisk in flakes of rhodite, and manganese. the manganese should alloy well with the plutonium so give it time.

now, in a separste pot mix sulfuric and fluoric scid in equal proportions. add the eggs, and the celery and whisk. let the reaction cool.

once the lignite begins to leech out some of of the famous calcite deposits add salt, galium and cesium (i know, cesium is pasé, but you just cant do lignite witout good cesium).

the raise the temperature a bit, and add the boron.

let the mix cook for about two hours. then pour onto a teflon coverrd mold. be sure to scrspe the bottom of the pot, and as you do add in the acid and egg mix, the instant heating will cause the residue to bond with the scarping, and you'll get a gravy that is not too rich , but definitely adds a refreshing taste as you drizzle over the lignite,

once it cooled. test to see if the mix is not too hard, and serve with some potatos and a nice salad (one of those guilty plessures i was talking about, is to drizzle some of that gravy on the greens.

so to answer the question, yes. we need another moon. one is just not enough. can you imagine having a garden dinner, serving the lignite with only the light of one moon?!?!