Shell Shock

“Lights, camera, action!”

But why does it feel like I’m losing traction?

Lecture halls, dining rooms, dorms, and a classroom,

This definitely does not feel like I'm attending Zoom.

“This room is being recorded,”

The things in my mind don’t feel all sorted.

Little bursts of energy, raising my hand, talking to friends.

Exhausted. On to the next class.

Walking around the hills and bends.

Feel like I’m running out of gas.

I’ll pass.

Alone is where I like to be,

More energy, more time for me.

Socializing not the home I see,

Alone is where I like to be.

Exhausted cause I cannot press “Leave Meeting,”

The days feel like it keeps repeating.

Fifteen minute commute, hard to find parking.

Walking.

Talking.

Trying to break out of the shell of one word reflection,

How poor my writing selection.

Little bursts of energy, raising my hand, talking to friends.

Exhausted. On to the next class.

Walking around the hills and bends.

Feel like I’m running out of gas.

I’ll pass.

Return journey commute, back to home.

Pet my dog, wash up. Rest.

In my room, clicking Google Chrome.

Time to study for my next test.

Why do I feel alive when alone is what I love now,

The screen in front of me, I never made a vow.

Staying inside, a shell like a turtle,

This lifestyle starts to make my blood curdle.

Another day, another morning, praying it’s not mundane,

At what point will I go insane?

Asking, “What if, could I, would I, should I, did I…?,

Change into someone else and kiss my old self, “Goodbye?”