The Spiral of it All

There's a queue, in my head, of everything

Tabs, open forever, fading in and out of existence

Sometimes, they fade forever

But mostly, they drift in and out of the depths,

forever waxing and waning like waves on a shore

The waves are dark, right now, and I can't stop them.

They're usually carefree, happy, snippets of sounds, thoughts, sentences in silly voices.

But not right now.

The loudness of a bone snapping, an instant death sentence

The wrench of loss, and the terrible knowledge that I can't run from it even as I run.

It shouldn't have happened.

I screamed, trying to understand, as my heart seemed to shatter.

She should have been fine. She was fine.

She fell.

It shouldn't have happened.

I keep wondering what I could have done to prevent it all

I don't think it's fully hit yet, but it has at the same time.

She was supposed to live longer.

It's like there's a physical weight on my head, a heavy crown.

I can't get her back, and that hurts more.

White daisies and a dull eye

It shouldn't have happened.