I hate how I’m like this
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I'm still lost.
I couldn't find a way out of here.
To this stagnant loop of self-pity and blame.
I seem to get stuck trying to step forward.
What am I to do now?
It's all so foreign yet empty at the same time, to feel the limited freedom I gained from being stubborn.
What was it that i've been trying to do?
How did I lost sight of my goal?
I wasn't allowed to dream... extravagantly,
freely,
selfishly.
I should only choose the practicality of our situation.
I am not allowed to have something...so useless.
Utterly worthless things.
I drop out of college.
To be specific...I abandoned my responsibility to such extent.
All that I could blame was myself.
My fault.
It's all my fault.
For not having any better dreams
For not making myself let go of the only thing I have.
For not being able to have a clear goal.
For not even trying.
I... I tried though
But I got scared in the process.
I wasn't supported to this kind of path.
My parents chose my academics than the career path I would like to chose.
I lost sight of what's important.
What's my priority?
What's supposed to be my priority?