Why the world is terrified of women’s sexual expression?

Every writer worth their dime know that fandoms and fangroups are a goldmine for stories, virtual friendships, and coming head-to-head with the bizarre.

It's nothing new, Joanne Harris famed French writer of Chocolat glory has been a member of fangroups and fanpages for a long time. Celebrities who admitted to writing fanfiction include Chloe Zhao, Meg Cabot, and Neil Gaiman and still this topic is as hot and controversial as it used to be back when I first joined the astoundingly fierce -and albeit obsessive- Supernatural fandom.

Despite fanfiction being one of the post-social era (starting from the 2010s) major controversies, and despite the post-heteronormative realm in which we live and breathe all forms of healthy gender and sexual expression, past the defined, hetero archetypes, we still have posts and articles that publicly attack women for their open, daring, and unabashed sexual expression online.

Women who admit to lusting at a male celebrity are being attacked, mocked, or described using words that might fit in a Bible or an article from the era that most of them have -gladly- escaped. In one of the fanforums which I closely follow; a post caught my attention where one of the older fans was condemning other female fans (especially older women whom she accused of being the age of his grandmother) of self-expressing their infatuation with the young fellow. She said that most of the posts make her want to vomit, and was disgusted at these women's self-expression and sexual openness about liking the man and finding him hot. Yes, stans are a thing and it might not be healthy to involve in fandoms too much for someone's own sanity, but the anger, as I saw it, was not directed at Stans, but at women in general and how they should have this composed, collected demeanor where they should not excessively show their infatuation, euphoria, or sexual awakening at the hands of a man they deem attractive, gorgeous, or sexually appealing.

Shaming women for being sexually open or showing their sexual like or dislike of a certain aspect in the other sex has been a staple of misogyny. It would be easy to slut-shame a woman who has the Samantha Jones qualities, but even virtually it garners more hatred since these women have the Scarlett Letter "pathetic" and "aging" attached to their bosoms, like they should be old, docile, grannies who are content drinking milk and reading from books to their grandchildren. Hence the comments still directed at women like Madonna describing her as vulgar for publicly showcasing her like or sexual interest in a certain person. Madonna specifically has been a natural breed for being too feminine a woman with certain qualities associated normally with men such as her way of dealing with her partners, her open discussions of sex, her casual descriptions of sex and sexuality without the associated emotional attachment, and her bossy, no-bullshit attitude. I imagined what said post would have thought of Madonna, and I imagined if she were a member of any fangroup, oh what Hell she'd raise!

The world is so scared of women's healthy and unrepentant sexual expression. Why would a woman expose herself, peel a layer of vulnerability and declare her like for something? Why should a woman discuss these fantasies that she has with the world, even through the (not-so-safe-admittedly) recesses of the Internet? Why would a woman create a fanpage or a fangroup to discuss and express her interest in a certain male (or female although I haven't seen that particular issue often except in f/m fandoms) without getting stones thrown at her or reading demeaning, ageist comments about her filth and lack of respect? Why should a woman's open and sexual expression and unflinching declaration of sexual taste be looked down upon and instead of encouraging her a la Fleabag style, we attack and brutalize her for being her authentic self? Why push women to a shrinking, tight box where she can fit a category that does not suit her, sew her lips shut on her passionate needs and sexual taste, so that she can be a pleasure to know and look at? The historical and social organized terrorizing mobsters of anti-feminists and misogynists, religious freaks and patriarchal figures, have been firm in their attack of women who dare to deviate from the norm or show a certain rebellious attitudes in terms of gender and sexuality. It's a shame seeing this in our modern world where huge steps have been taken in terms of gender and sexual expression, but hope is that more women would talk about it and express what they really think of the whole shebang.

As a firm believer in freedom of speech, I found it a bit alarming and harming for said women to read this post, I didn't honestly see the point in interfering with a woman's safe space where she is allowed to have fun, express herself, find a healthy and safe space where she can gush over a person she finds sexually -or aesthetically- attractive. But at the end of the day, ingrained misogyny is a problem that needs to be challenged every now and then, and creating a safe space for women's sexual and emotional expression may be the start, but not the ultimatum.