Pen to the Paper 25: The Announcement

“YOU JUST GOT PRANKED, BRO!” the lame loser-face said after slamming an ice cream cone into my face, pouring a two-hundred degree coffee over my head, and kicking me in the kidneys repeatedly.

“Very funny,” I said as the internal bleeding started.

The hooligan ran off, never to be seen again. Or so I hoped.

It was Monday when that happened. Nick and I were still finalizing our plans for the announcement, so we decided to meet for lunch to finalize our decision. The rest of the week is prep rehearsal, if it was something crazy enough to need it. Which, as a finale episode, has to be.

On Tuesday, Nick and I were at the arena placing orders and double checking our inventory. We needed to make sure that we had enough snacks and drinks for everyone that we were projecting to attend. And, also, we needed to make sure that what wasn’t organized for the closing of the challenge had its first steps done.

As I left the arena, I heard something from behind me. But I was too late… the villain gave me a wedgie, pantsed me, and kicked me in the shin. “YOU JUST GOT PRANKED!!!”

On Wednesday, I left my house for a bike ride. We did not have anything going on that day, as there was nothing we could do before equipment and whatnot arrived. As I rode down the street, a snake slithered in front of me. Having no other choice, I ran it over. Much to my surprise, I found myself flying head over heels off my bike: it was a stick. Silly string rained over me, and a bucket of paint was thrown on me, ruining my favorite running shirt.

“I JUST PRANKED YO’ FACE!”

By Thursday, I was on edge. I flinched at everything and became hyper-aware of my surroundings. Nothing could get past me… Not even the inch worm climbing up the tree two hundred feet away from me. Pretty impressive for a man who needs glasses. Sleep was miserable, because there wasn’t any. My eyes were open the entire time. But, nothing happened.

Friday, I was much calmer. Maybe the psycho was gone. Sore, I decided to hop into an ice bath. I was exhausted from the previous night, and I ended up passing out in the tub. I woke up to the smell of something cooking. I screamed in agony as I realized that the prankster had struck again! He was making Caleb stew.

“Is it safe, Nick?” I asked, preparing to go on stage for the announcement.

“This is probably the safest big idea you have had yet! So, yeah. Odd that you are concerned with safety, but I am glad you aren’t actively trying to kill yourself anymore.”

“I’m not talking about that, man. I have never been in more fear of my life. I feel like every corner I take, he’s there, waiting to deal me out some pain and call it a prank…”

“Oh,” Nick said. “That. Well, I put him on the banned list, so hopefully he won’t be let in.”

“I need to file a restraining order…” I replied.

“I think that you are due for more than that. Do you know the winners?”

“Yep! Now let’s get this show on the road.”

Lights began flashing around me as I went up the elevator. Guitar in hand, I was dressed like Johnny Cash and was ready for the performance of my life time. But, when I got on stage, there was only one person in the crowd.

“HA! YOU JUST GOT PRANKED!”

His voice echoed throughout the empty arena. “I BOUGHT ALL BUT SIX SEATS ON MONDAY!”

I looked at the six other people in the audience. The contestants. “Hey, guys, I’m sorry for this atrocity. I had some pretty big plans, but he has been doing crazy stuff like this all week. Before I get into announcing the winners, would you like to hear the performance of my lifetime? That’s right, my lifetime, not yours.”

Roses311Sublime started hooting and hollering.

“Thanks, that means a lot, man!”

I started the riff for Ring of Fire. I was two bars in when all of the lights fell from the rafters, followed by my guitar erupting into flames, and my Johnny Cash outfit disintegrating. I had pajamas on underneath, don’t worry.

“Well, this has been a disaster. Thank you, stranger, for these absolutely hilarious pranks. I have never laughed so hard in my life. Ha, ha. See? Ha, ha.

“Nick! Get security to escort this man out of my arena!”

Nick’s brother emerged from the darkness, threw the man over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and threw him out the front door.

“Now, where was I? Ah, yes. Let’s move onto the announcements, shall we?

“Coming in third place, we have Roses311Sublime with Cryptic Beginnings! It was a fun read and the first of its kind: the first part of a series only to be released during the challenge. It was a great start, and I am excited to read more!

“Coming in second place, we have Moki-Mori’s Pen to Paper 25! That was hilarious! I loved it!

“And, finally, in first place, we have a really strong exit to this season. This person is new regular to Pen to the Paper, and I was happy to see that they found a seat and an entry before Prankster McGee bought them all… Anyhow, Zeethefoodie is taking home this season’s final prize with Emotions and Colours, The Rainbow Kind! As I said, it was an amazing way to end this season! It was deep. My favorite part is how well Zee personified the emotions that she covered. It was a great read, and I one hundred percent think that everyone should read it.

“Thank you all for coming out to Pen to the Paper 25!!! I will see you next week for the season premier of Pen to the Paper Season 3!!! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a lawsuit to file...”