this is what’s happening when you say “what” and I reply with “nothing”

How can I possibly tell you what I’m thinking when

     you look at me like that and my mouth

decides it can’t speak English and

     it’s like my tongue

forgot how to move

     and there’s no hope for

any of the words that are trying to come out because

     they’re all tangled now and I swallow them rather than

blab them out in a tangled wad of

     incoherent nonsense

because you

     wouldn’t understand and you’d turn your head like a

confused cocker spaniel and

     call me silly and instead of saying

what I think I just

     mumble I love you and

you whisper ditto right back at me and

     of course I

can’t reply at all when you do that you cute little

     dorkweed how can I when

your eyes make me feel more seen

     than I’ve ever been and

your hands speak to me more than your words do and

     your lips are just lips but they still

send me soaring when I press

     my own to them and I melt

like molasses in the sun

     even now when I should be used to you but

I’m not.