Weekends Alone

As a little girl I thought life was great, I had two houses to bounce to each different and cool. Each weekend I would visit, was full of surprise, lots of candy and junk food, and so much tv it hurt my eyes. As a young girl I was oblivious to the bad times around me, I saw only the perks of the court ordered visits.

The years blew past and the older I got, the more that I realized the food and candy would be all that I got. I would sit there in silence, candy in hand, watching old reruns as he slept in his chair. Snoring so loud the windows would rattle, I would stay up all night until no more I could handle.

One day after drop-off all buckled into the car, he pulled off at a gas station and pulled out a cooler. Grabbing a beer and a koozie too, he hopped back in the car and we pulled out of the station. Three beers in and another two days to go, I put down my little foot and said no further would I go.

Refusing to go anywhere with him driving, his friends they came over and piled in the driveway. They drank and they smoked as I sat in the trailer, curled up on the couch with my junk food and candy. Angry and lonely it all started to click, my dad was an alcoholic a habit he could not kick.

The next weekend rolled around, and I told my mother. I don't want to see him, or talk to him, or visit. I'm tired of the candy and junk food as bribes and I wanted a father who actually wanted to be by my side.