A Father, Broken

I feel like a part of me is missing since I lost my son. I know I'm not supposed to blame myself, but I can't help it. It's like a chunk of my heart was broken off, and every time I see something that reminds me of him it chips away at the edges of where that chunk once was. I can't enjoy the park, my wife and I are separating, and I can't stand to look at pictures of us together.

I can barely hold the pistol in my hand.