I FIND MYSELF

I find myself hating a friend,

I find myself loving a foe.

I find myself lost in thought.

then I find myself drenched in tears.

I find myself on a lonely road

lost in the turns of mans killing code

I find my heart faint of heart

I find my mind going out of its mind

I find what i find is not worth finding at all.

The aching of my head,

the weights that I feel.

The silent existance of a trembling heart,

the choking pretence of a jealous soul.

I find myself living without living

I find myself floating yet not free,

flowing yet trapped,breathing yet gasping,

moving yet stagnant.

Worst of all,i find myself loving yet hating.....