Shadow Self

Trying to put a lid on being destructive,

I wish it was as easy as putting leftovers away,

My imagination is a blessing but my mental illness is the monster that comes with it,

Trying to just sit and do nothing,

My thoughts are racing,

The shadow makes itself known again,

Hands are shaking with adrenaline,

The darker element of who I am wants attention,

I'd rather starve it,

Even if I had to give up being creative,

It's better than feeling destructive,

I'd have fewer obstacles,

If my mind was different.