in·de·ci·sion

in·

crisis;

i cannot

decide

what makes me

me.

words

are cheap

yet i still

cannot afford them,

going into debt

every time

i open

my mouth.

de·

nial,

i can pretend

that i am nothing

reject

the labels

yet even still

i find myself

searching

for a truth

that doesn't exist.

i can't even accept

my own

ambivalence.

ci·

rcumvent

the requirements

ghosting the universe.

it called

and i did not

pick up.

i danced my way

around

my identity.

if i can

avoid it

then maybe

it isn't

real.

yet even as i

revel

in ambiguity

i know

i must make

a deci-

sion·

i have to decide

who i am

or else someone

will do it for me

and i'll choke

on their words.

i need to find my own.

if the words

don't exist,

i will invent them

because without them,

i am

indecision

and nothing else.