Feedback Wanted

Would you read this piece if it was the beginning of a book? Is the easy to follow? What changes should be made?

The teen shivered in the snowstorm and held her baby sister closer to her, trying to keep her warm. The wind was fierce cutting through her cloak and chilling her to the bone. She looked up and saw a building, it looked like it could be an inn, or a tavern, or something. But there was smoke coming through the chimney and light in the window. She didn't know if she had enough money to pay for anything much, but it would be warm inside, she had to try. She went inside and was greeted by the warmth of the fire. She stared at the fire for a moment, mesmerized, when a man, presumably the owner walked over. He was a burly man with an untrimmed beard, wearing a white shirt that was slightly stained with a brown smock over it. He regarded her for a moment. She was covered in snow, with a black cloak around her. Her hazel eyes looked up slowly at him.

"We're closed." He said gruffly.

"Please sir, it's cold outside and my baby sister can't survive the night, she's sick... I can pay." She added as a last-minute throw. The man considered for a moment.

"How much do you have?" He said as he held out his hand. She pulled out her bag of money. He looked inside.

"Not enough." He said. "Not even close to enough." Her face fell.

"Please sir, I can work off any debt, but, my sister, she'll die" The man put his hand up.

"Not my probl-" they both turned suddenly when they heard footsteps on the stairs. It was another teen. She had brown hair and green eyes, which were sunken in their sockets. She was wearing a simple tan dress with a long sleeve white shirt underneath, with a dark brown overskirt and a light brown vest. She looked at the situation for a moment.

"What is going on sir?” She inquired. The man curled his lip.

“It does not concern you.” his voice as cold as the storm outside. She took a long look at the other girl.

“If you need somewhere to stay, you can stay with me.” She said a small smile on her lips. The man considered for a moment.

“More for her to stay, and keep the baby quiet.” The green-eyed teen paused, then rushed upstairs. The first teen slumped her shoulders and put her head down. She looked up just as quickly when she heard more steps, the other girl had returned.

“Here.” She said, shoving some money into the man's hands, he kept them open. The exasperated girl sighed and pulled out a little more, and fearfully eyed his hands, but they closed around the coins. Silently, the 2 teens and the baby made their way up the stairs. They entered a small room that was made of wooden walls, which were slightly rotting. In the corner was a bed with 2 blankets and a pillow. There was a cabinet on the left side of the door, and on the right, there was a small table, about the size of a dog. At the far end of the room was a fireplace, with a small fire inside it. Both girls were silent for a moment. Then the baby began to cry. The first girl went to comfort her, and the second girl just watched for a moment. The girls locked eyes with one another, and the hazel-eyed teen spoke.

"Not that I'm not grateful, because I am, but why help me?" She said, gently rocking the baby.

"Oh, well, three reasons I guess." The green-eyed teen replied "The first is that the 2 of you would have definitely died in the cold and I couldn't have that on my conscience. Second, my parents taught me to always help others when I can, and thirdly, I like to annoy the innkeeper as much as possible...without getting kicked out." They both laughed gently at that, and again silence fell. "So, what's your name?" said the green-eyed girl.

"M-my name?" the first girl echoed, clutching the baby closer.

"Yeah, what people refer to you by?" said the first with a little bit of sarcasm.

"Oh, my name is Anna."

"Well, Anna, I'm Louise"