I'm not sure who is looking back in the mirror at me

staring, so blankly, right in front of me

listen, you can hear her breath

so close, looking a mess

the freckles on her nose are faint

angle kisses, they call them, but she ain't no saint

powerful, this feeling of powerlessness

like the cards were dealt and you're left with hopelessness

the knot in my chest, pulling tighter

really, I thought I was a fighter

disappointing, that's what you are

thought you were gonna go so far

depression? no. depressing? yes.

all of the tears, I repress

a song, a movie, a spot of wine

completely appropriate to cry

anything else? it's not ok

for that's a sign you're not ok

want to scream want to shout

but inside, the throat's a drought

it's not a dream

it's the self-esteem

it's all ego

hard to let it go

look again, in the reflection

all I see is what lacks affection

all those dreams and none of them pipe

now, like the reflection is a daguerreotype

nothing but the image

nothing but the shape

all form no matter

and so, what is the matter?

what is hard in this present moment

and what is so difficult of this bestowment

this gift of divine charity

not so divine, even in memory

for this bestowment can only be granted

if these thoughts go unplanted

surrender the mind, surrender the thoughts

let go of all that is fraught

battle the fret with love and care

even if there's not much flare

listen inside, the solutions are there

every time you lack some air