Goodbye ’22

oh you stupid, stupid year. i don't hate you like '20 or '16 .no...i hate other years more than you. MUCH more than you...it's not the crap you pulled for attention, the awful shows of gross inequity.

no. i think now, as your time is ticking down, that you are and always were, a wannabe. you had so much you wanted done, to show the world what a badass you were. but look, you stupid, stupid cow, every thing you did was just copycatting the bigger years. wars you gave us, but stupid ones. the kind that brought us suffering, but its just an immitation. you try to make a plague come back, but it's just pathetic. you had so much effort in doing bad, but it was so tedious and mediocre.

let's face it, the only original thing you could do with everything youbhad going for you, with all the time you had, is to get Will Smith to slap Chris Rock at the Oscars. god... just pathetic!!

the truth is, that i pity you. instead of doing bad, unoriginal things like land invasions in the Ukraine and a covid wave and stupid, awful soccer, you could have done something GOOD!

could you have us come up with a solution to golbal warming? no.

or the much awaited for NEW flavor of soda? (i mean something that is actually new in taste and just new ingredients that taste different and shitty!). again, no!

maybe something funny? no.

maybe something heartwarming for a fucking change?...don't make me laugh..

no.big word for you, 22.

the thing is, you were a petty, low kind of a year. people will never look at you fondly, or with terror. no one will remember the stupid secret documents in trumpland, or the fuel leak on the rocket, or the shelling of a nuclear reactor. no. it's just too stupid to think about.

now, i know what your thinking; "i still have a few more days!" right? you read this and you think you could pull off a massive catastrophe.that would put you on the map of evil years. but remember this; everything you do now, will be confused as something that happned in 2023! people dont remember stuff well.

the ONLY way that you could make a dent on the pretty grary, awfulness that will be our memory of you, is by doing something remarkably good! i can't imagine what. it needs to be BIGGGG! something that gives us all a big laugh, something we will remeber with a smile and a longing tear in our eye, as we brace for the really badass shitty years.

so take this not as an obit, but rather as a last-chance call. common, give us a good show. something.that will give '23 cold feet coming after you.

good luck, though, you're going to need it.