I know it's bad

I know it hurts

I know it doesn't work

But I still can't stop myself

It's so much easier when it's a non-action

To forget, to go without

Pain resides in my whole body

I shake and fall down

No energy to get back up

The reasons are worst of all:

'I don't actually need this'

'I just need to lose a bit more'

'I can go just a little longer'

'Do you deserve it?'