wrote this while listening to Beirut, waiting for class

one of my favorite phenomena is how a song can swing my mood into a complete 360.

i sit at the bar, sticky at my fingertips, faint smell of dried beer and lemon pledge.

empty leather seats at either side. i give a sheepish smile to the pretty bartender, blonde-streaked hair pulled back into a pony tail, tight black shirt to expose her tanned and slender arms.

suck on the rind of a leftover lime wedge.

murmur to the melancholy song quietly buzzing around me.

couples moving together on the dance floor, slowly undulating their bodies in time with one another. legs against legs; waists against waists. too drunk. never too happy.

i feel a pang in my heart. tenderness and longing suffocate me as i try not to make eye contact. stare at my peep-toed shoes balancing on the edge of my stool.

i manage a solitary stumble out into the cold air, revitalizing claks on the crooked pavement echoes into the distance. bitterly lonely but finding solace in being alone.

the cab arrives and i sink into the backseat, grey, soft material, returning to a private space. just me and the driver.

radio plays. a song comes on from my childhood. fast, peppy beat. pop music that i’d missed without realizing that i’d missed it.

he drives quickly on the streets leading to my room. blurry lights swirling around me and inside my head, bouncing off the whites of my eyes, a stark contrast against the black of the night sky.

i tap my heel on the floor to match the thumping bass.

the cab driver sings along, words pleasantly marred by a slight accent.

looking out the window, grasping at the distance, lyrics blooming inside my mind, i fall back into myself again, gloom diminishing. too easy to forget there’s more to life than only present experiences.

the past, the future. things change so quickly.

i was a different person in the past, and i can be a different person in the future.

i can evolve into whomever i want to evolve into.

and it only takes one song to remind me of this, dragging out buoyant memories of my innocent youth. waking me up again from my languid sorrows.