A Small Percent

Though I am sure there is a great percentage where involuntary celibacy is a chosen line of thought and actively lived, I would like to present the small percent where this condition of thought and action are not purposefully chosen, but used as a survival method.

Abuse, including specifically both sexual and physical, among men and women has risen from 89,241 (2009) to 144,300 (2021) in rape statistics; 1 out of 5 women and 1 out of 10 men. I am referring to the 1 out of ten men. For Sexual abuse: 1 out of every 5 boys are sexually abused before the age of 18. Even more then this because 30% of abuse isn’t reported, and for every abusive action that is, two more are likely to go unreported, and 38% of boys are abused by women. These are the men I will be referring to in the small percentage mentioned above.

80% of 21 year olds had a psychological disorder because of the physical and emotional trauma, especially when abuse is started before age 6.

so where does this all tie in?

As an abuse victim, during abuse the child (he, she) will find any way to protect themselves. Whether drugs to numb the pain, voluntarily sex to forget forced sexual experiences, walls to hide behind, withdrawing away from all and anyone. Severe trust issues are common, emotional instability along with (sometimes severe)constant panic and anxiety attacks, suicidal thoughts and/or suicide.

Cloud this with the grief mad fear some experience by losing to death someone they love because of abuse, (1,708 in 2021 children died of abuse) plus more because of unreported abuse.

Now I am not saying that we cannot hold people to their actions, but by doing so, we must take in consideration of why.

For example:

Problem: A thirty year old man kills his mother.

Why: His mother was sexually abusive in his teenage years and was the cause of his sisters death.

What he did wasn't right, we could call him a murderer, but isn’t the mother also a murderer? We could sentence him to prison, rightfully, but wouldn’t counseling be also a better addition to prison?

We may not be able to stop those who choose this line of thinking, but we can save those who turn to it as a coping method of trauma and survival method of their instabilities and psychological disorders.

Abuse is common. Sadly most people don’t realize it happens so frequently, in any socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural lines, and within any religions.

And we can’t stop all of it, but we can give these victims the gift of understanding their why, and helping them.

Note: If you are in an abusive situation, tell someone. Trust me, it is not worth it and you don’t have to protect anyone. You don’t have to just survive, there is a freedom to live on the other side of this valley, all you have to do is tell someone. ( preferably the police, especially if you or your family is in danger)

hotlines:

Child Help USA: 800-422-4453

Covenant House Nineline: 800-999-9999

RAINN: www.rainn.org

The National Sexual Assault: 800-656- HOPE

Victims of Crime Resource Center: 800-842-8467

Youth Crisis: 800-448-4663