Early Morning

"Hey man! Get the fuck up!" 

God rolls over and bunches his sheets, over a million thread count of all natural contrail could fiber, around his face. 

"No." God said. 

"I made you coffee." Satan said. 

Satan, as you may have heard, is supposedly the first of the fallen. This is not true. Satan is actually the first of the risen. He is a morning person and proud of it. 

"You got to, things are heating up and there all freaking out!"

"Five minutes more." said God. 

"Come on," Satan declared as he looked down through the throngs of eternity to see a smoking ruin,  "They have just started to give up on you and if you don't wake soon......"

"What?" God asked. 

Satan screamed. "Oh GOD!

"What? God asked. 

With the drama of a UK trained thespian Satan looked sadly at God and broke the news.

"They have started to worship themselves." 

God looked down through the throngs of eternity and saw they were doing quite well and this made God very sad. 

"Jesus," he said, and then got up to take a shower and then drink a cup of the Satan's famous brew. No. The devils coffee always comes first in a morning like this.