Dependent

I waited an hour before I called. Didn't want to be needy, clingy. I'd ruined too many friendships that way. With desperation. Mania. Not this time.

Okay, so it wasn't quite an hour. I only made it 58 minutes. But that's fine. It was close enough.

No answer.

Damn it. I fucked up. Do I call again? Send a text? Is that weird?

I type out a text. The safer route.

Hey, wya?

No, that's too desperate. Tone it down. You don't want to be that person again.

Never mind. Don't text. Just sit and wait like a normal person. You're going to scare them away. Just like last time. And the time before that.

Maybe I did it again. Just another casualty of my codependency. Great work.

"Are you waiting on someone?"

"Yes." My voice sounds all wrong. Pull yourself together. No more of this wishy washy bullshit.

"Do you want a coffee while you wait?"

I stand up.

"I'm okay. I think I'll just come back later."

The waitress offers me a sad smile. She thinks I've been stood up. I haven't. I don't think I have. Have I?

The road seems to crumble around me, asphalt shifting and twisting below my wheels as I start the car. Yellow lines blurred together with tears.

I did it again. I did it again. This always fucking happens.

Step on the gas. Tires peeling away, layers of my sadness staining the street a burnt black. No more. Let it all go. Let it all—

Shattered glass. Head slammed into the steering wheel. Blood that's mine. Blood that isn't. Too fast. I was going too fast. I'm still going too fast, even after I've stopped moving it all keeps going, red and blue, blood and a cerulean shirt slowly stained black by blood and grease, cop cars and screaming and...

Oh my god. I know that car. I recognize the white finish and the out of state license plate. It's their car.

My phone buzzes.

Three fucking letters.

OMW.

And everything goes black.