On depression

Life is so busy it feels like I can hardly breathe.

The proverbial elephant on my chest found an all you can eat buffet.

Slowly being crushed to death isn't the way I would have chosen to go.

I wonder, If I wait long enough, will it all fade to black?

I didn't mean to adopt this beast, but the apathy beckoned, lured me to shadows.

It sat hunched in the dark, and I thought, if I just touched it, I might be able to coax it into the light.

Instead I fell into the blackness.

This.. this constant companion... is an unwanted guest at an otherwise happy birthday party. It sits sullenly in the back of my mind, drowning me in overwhelm, and stripping the shine off my natural finish. How do you hide from the quiet desperation of life when it sleeps in your bed beside you each night?

Can I have a happy memory while I live under my blanket of crumbling despair?

I want better. If not for me... For them.

So, I'll shoulder this, offer up another hunk of me to feed the beast,

but I'm afraid that

before long

There'll be nothing left of me at all.