Life ....

trying to make sense of it, to find the connection to reality and understanding. Why, what, where and who  -  or is that whom? Everyday it seems to be just me, everyone else becomes a giant glutenous lump that conspires to confuse and reduce me to tears. Easily done these days and I welcome it now because it signals the end of that round of punishment and vilification leading to a pause of indeterminate length before it starts all over again. Should I write this down? If anyone ever read it they would think I was borderline stupid or at best just a little slow. What I don't get is why I see and hear things others don't, the result of actions before they occur, the never-ending tumble of conversations I hear all day and can never get rid off, they spin through my head at crazy speeds and merge with all the other ideas. Maybe today I will find the answer to it all, but then probably not because I need to find that connection to reality and understanding first.