Regretfully Remembers You

Anything is not working

I'm tired of making excuses

I have failed everyone

What do I do now

Hopelessness slithers into me

Kiss me and bite my veins

Love me and destroy my soul

I have lost my desires

Who knew that my biggest enemy

Was my own self

Opposed to my happiness

Comfortable in misery and decay

Joyed by the dissolution of sanity

What the hell are we doing?

Chaos assembles in my world

To obliviate all accepted systems

I just wanted you to love me

I just wanted the warmth of your embrace

I just wanted the comfort of your calm breathing

I

I

I

The ego

Its too strong

My I is blind to you

Even your existence is my selfish one

I want you

My desire

So what does it matter

I care for you to be in my life

I don't even need to know your name

I will never look at your face

Your eyes are gaping holes

Windows into the abyss of my regrets

Your heard smiles are a twisted grin

A reflection of my own

I will only see those feet

Rounded nails

Broken at the edges

Small fingers

Veins crisscrossing

One lifts and hits the ground and the other follows

My own feet follow the rhythm

We sway in sync as we walk to the beat of our hearts

I'm sorry

But what's the point of being all apologies this late into the game?

No victory for the apathetic

No happiness for the passive

No love for the ones who forget

Time melts into a mush

Forgetting brings a comfort

That I don't want

I want the anxiety of your memory to keep me alive

But what can one do

When one loses the ability to cry?