The Last Time…

All in a whirl

It was three months ago

His kind tender eyes

His smile of joy

He gave me flowers

My favorite

Daisies

I lost myself in their sweet scent

And looking after him

As he walked away

Lingering in love

That was the last time I saw him

Alive

An hour later I received a phone call. “Alan’s in the ER. He’s hurt real bad…I think he’s dying.” My life froze and shattered to fractals. I hung up silently, mechanically. Somehow I drove myself to the hospital and was led to his bed where strangers in white coats and clipboards were staring and scribbling and jabbering about nobody-cares-what.

I slipped to his side

Gripped his cold stiff fingers

The heart monitor ran flat

He had gone

But I was still catching up

Belief urged but refused

The little pieces of my heart

Crumbling to nothing on the floor

Icy cold

His hand

His eyes

My heart

Fiery hot

My eyes

Stinging

Agony

Such pain and loss

Too sharp to be felt

I would never see him again

That’s when I broke

And the better part of me died

The withered bouquet of daisies

Hangs a talisman over my bed

More than a memory or keepsake

It’s a fragment of my past

I never want to lose

So please don’t send me flowers

Especially daisies

You’ll break my heart thrice over again

Once for Alan

Once for daisies

Once for you

Because I can’t deny I love you too