Debt

Roses are red like your anger,

as you violetly beat me black and blue

you beat me senseless and numb

you beat me hysterical and writhing

you beat me scared and frightened

you beat me pissed and helpless

you beat me melancholic and listless

ignoring my cries and pleas

only occasionally did you stop

once you had elicited from me a cry you felt

boasted enough

constancy,

steadfastness

then you would purposefully turn back to your video games, as if excelling at them required background noise that was my pain,

When I began to tire, my sobs slowing in frequency and pace,

you would look over

expressionless and

just observe

as soon as you detected a near escape on my part,

the moment you suspected I was slipping into sweet, sleepy realm of dreams,

you would pounce,

beating me back into consciousness

and I would gasp

a ghoulish gasp

sucking in air as I regained life

caught off guard,

choking, sputtering, and coughing on my own spit

please let me sleep

it was as if I were drowning and, just as I disappeared beneath the tumultuous surf into a calming embrace that promised rest for my overburdened soul,

you dragged me,

scared and gurgling,

back to the surface

spluttering, choking, and coughing again,

you loved keeping me suspended in midair, just between merciful sleep and insufferable existence,

a bug encased in amber, it’s heart beat persevering,

tears run down

well-tread, cheeky paths,

glistening wakes,

like softly glowing shooting star residuum,

you cannot cry underwater

only actively contribute,

gifting body to the ocean,

but here

in the middle,

there is no receptacle for tears

only an empty drum,

that patters as they fall,

humming a morbid tune

hanging, hanging here,

paying off the world’s debts to you

hanging, hanging, hanging,

by the noose of your abuse.