Cooking with the abstract concept of free will.

oh, winter is cold and unrelenting, the snow is falling, and you know school will open and you will again need to feed the offsprings meals that will perk them up, after the depressing, crushing days of adolecence. on top of that, budgets are getting tight and you need to find a way to pay off the loanshark, before they come calling with their baseball-bat inducments. really, that habit needs to stop...

his season, though, there is a lot of free will. its the best time to gather some up in the wild, or you can also find free will in any supermarket. it is both cheap and nutritious.

Now , I know what you'd say: abstract concepts are hard to work with, and they often don't appeal to everyone at the table. but let's not be defeatists. let's not fall victim to the feeling that the world is miving along theoretically definable determinism. that is not how food gets made!! in fact, it is more than possible to serve a well prepared meal with free will as the major ingredient.

here is a preperation of a traditional meal, serving five:

Free will CASSEROLE:

take a fair amount of eggs, pasta, tomato sauce, cauliflower, and bacon.

first sautee the free will after you thinly chopped it. i find that free will breaks into a nice aroma when fried in butter, but olive oil could be good too.

Rob a bank-it is important at thos stage to note that once you start cooking with freewill you become, by logical extention a rational actor. don't let criminal resposibility daunt you. try to avoid unpleasentness and dont come out shooting. it seldom works out. you. try to avoid unpleasentness and don't come out shooting. it seldom works out. remember, that when cooking with the abstract concept of free will, casualties are to be avoided, if at all possible.

Once the bank is robbed and the free will is nice and golden-brown, add bacon, onion and cauliflower. notice how the internal conflicts bubble into the surface , as the sugars are caramelized, and the fats are melted in the heat.

The smells cause your stomach to churn. memories of other days throb in your conciencness, joys of eating together, fears of dining alone. at this point you might doubt that free will exists at all, and that it is not an illusionary reaction to emotions and physical needs. but dont let these fears overtake you, as that the casserole will burn.

Prepare some pasta. it is up to you to choose which kind you would use. shapes and colors are a matter of preference, and of resolve. just remember to consider the fact that you will encounter the reaction of your 'patrons' who may or may have a clear and different idea of what is the ideal sort to use. do not be swayed by their fanaticism, nor callus by to their outbursts.

Mix in the chopped tomatoes with the free will . when the FRUIT (yes, tomato is a fruit and that is a fact!!!!!!!!!!!!!) has released its juices, add a can of tomato pasta sauce. i find

free will goes very well with canned sauces, it is a wonderful contrast between the fatalism of the preserved condiment, against the gritty texture of the self. if you fear it will start to burn or nagate each other as a logical argument, reduce the fire and add some liquid, preferrably red wine.

once the dish has acheived the correct texture, add shredded basil, salt and pepper to taste, you may also benefit from the sharp bite of a dash of regret into the mix, but to each his own.

once food is prepared, declare to the diners what itvis that they are being served. putting a label on things is important and will teach the young'uns to critical thinking. ladle the dish upon the pasta, and explain the epistemological definition , in your eyes of casseroles. invite them to question the details you present to them and only then tell them about your heroics at the bank.