My Brother’s Keeper

Aster stretched and got up from her chair; she had finished the book she had been reading and was ready for another one. She spent so many of her afternoons at the library that the staff saw her as a bit of a permanent fixture. She was reaching to put the book away when her phone rang. She quickly answered it and looked around in a panic, hoping no one had heard its loud ringing. 

"Hello?" Aster was confused, who could be calling her during her library time? 

"Are you Aster White ?" An official-sounding voice answered. 

"Yes, and you are?" Aster began to worry. 

"Your brother Lucas was in an accident and has been transferred to the hospital."

"Oh no," Aster felt terror overtaking her, "How bad was it?"

There was a sympathetic pause from the officer, "He was rendered unconscious almost immediately and hasn't woken yet."

Aster struggled to keep from breaking down, "Is he allowed to have visitors?"

"Yes, do you have a way to get to the hospital?"

Aster thought for a moment, her mind clouded by panic, "Yes, I can call my friend to pick me up."

She couldn't bear to hear anything else that the officer had to say, "Is that all?" she asked coldly. 

 "That will be all," The officer seemed to understand and hung up quickly. 

Taking a deep breath, Aster prepared to call her friend, desperately hoping she could talk without shattering.

The phone rang once before her friend answered. 

"Hi Aster, what's up?" Luna sounded distracted. 

"Luna, I-I need your help." Aster heard the desperation in her own voice. 

"What's wrong, Aster" Her friend now sounded concerned.

"M-my brother he..." She couldn't finish the sentence, everything that had just happened had finally caught up to her.

"What happened," Luna sounded worried.

Aster took a deep breath, composing herself, "He was in a bad accident, the ambulance took him to the hospital and he hasn't woken up yet."

"I'll be right there," Luna said quietly. 

"Thanks," Aster whispered as she collapsed into her favorite chair.

Her thoughts were racing, hasn't woken up yet, Lucas in an accident, hasn't woken up yet, unconscious immediately, hasn't woken up yet. 

And above all, the deafening clamor of, this is your fault, all your fault, this is all your fault.

"No, it's not. It's not my fault." Aster wept. 

She felt strong arms embrace her, "Shh, Sokay. Of course, it's not your fault." 

"Luna?" She whispered weakly.

The arms embracing her tightened, "Yes, I'm here. I've got you. Sokay."

Aster blinked up at her with utter helplessness in her eyes, "Why? Why is this happening."

Luna winced slightly, "I don't know, but it's going to be ok. I promise."

"Don't," Aster's voice broke, "Don't promise what you have no control over."

She composed herself and stood, "Come on, let's go."

They drove in silence to the hospital, both of them hoping desperately that they wouldn't get the devastating call. As they pulled up in front of the hospital, Aster looked over at Luna in terror.

"I can't do this," she whispered.

Luna smiled sadly, "Yes, you can. You are one of the strongest people I know."

Luna gently took her hand and guided her into the hospital. The woman at the front desk looked at them with suspicion, no doubt wondering what two teenagers were doing in the hospital unattended. Aster explained the situation while struggling not to break down, and glaring at them one last time, the woman waved them on.

Aster watched with increasing dread as the floors dinged past on the elevator, and finally, they reached floor number four ICU unit.

"I can't... Can't" Aster felt like she couldn't breathe, "Can't do this." 

Luna hugged her tightly, "Sokay, it's going to be okay. I got you."

Aster looked at Luna with tear-filled eyes, "Thank you, for being here for me."

"Always," Luna whispered.

Aster and Luna braced themselves, attempting to prepare for whatever would meet them as they walked into Lucas’s room. But nothing could have prepared Aster for the sight that met her as she entered the room, her brother lay pale and still on the hospital bed, surrounded by monitors and IVs. 

"Lucas?" she whispered brokenly. 

She walked over to the bed and found his hand under the covers. 

Tears fell from her eyes, landing on the stark white sheets, "How? How could this happen?" 

Luna gently embraced Aster, both of them quietly sobbing. 

At that moment, a nurse entered the room, "Are you Aster ?"

"Yes," Aster whispered, still holding onto her brother's hand. 

The nurse grimaced sympathetically, "I'm so sorry."

"Don't," Aster's breath hitched, "Don't give me apologies. I want to know if he will survive."

The nurse looked taken aback, "If he wakes within the next few days he has a higher chance of survival."

Aster turned to her brother, "Come on, you need to wake up. I still need you."

Seeing that it would be useless to try to get Aster to leave, the nurse quietly left the room.

Aster settled into a chair by her brother's bed, prepared to stay until he woke.

For three days she stayed, only leaving to grab food, and barely sleeping until her friend convinced her to accept the offer of a room in the small clubhouse attached to the hospital. 

Being concerned for her friend's health, Luna wouldn't let her friend reenter the hospital until she had taken a two-day's rest.           

"Miss. White?" a knock sounded at the door. 

Aster peeked hesitantly out of the door, "Yes?"

A nurse stood on the other side, "The doctor believes it safe for your brother to see you now."

"Give me a minute," Aster got ready more quickly than she ever had, bolting out of the door in less than five minutes. 

She followed the nurse up the elevator and to the ICU her heart threatening to beat out of her chest.

The nurse turned and looked at her gravely, "I want to warn you, he's not the same person you remember. 

Aster froze midstep and looked at the nurse, fear blooming in her eyes, "What do you mean?" 

The nurse looked at her with sympathy, "He may not remember you, he hasn't yet remembered many things from before the accident."

Aster nodded resolutely and continued walking. She took a deep breath as she entered her brother's room, forcing herself not to expect the worst. 

Lucas was propped up in bed still looking weak and pale but much better than when Aster had last seen him. 

"Hi," She whispered weakly. 

"Hello?" His warm brown eyes were filled with confusion, "Do I know you?

Aster could feel her heart breaking, "I'm your sister,"

His dark brown eyes clouded for a moment before filling with pain, "I'm sorry, I don't remember."

"It's ok," Aster forced herself to smile.

Sensing that this visit was becoming too painful for Aster, the nurse gently ushered her out.

"W-will he get better," Aster shook as she tied not to shatter. 

 The nurse winced, "The diagnosis is that he will regain some of his memories, But..."

"But what?" Aster felt as if she already knew what the nurse was about to say. 

The nurse sighed, "But, he may never fully remember you and what you meant to him."

Aster gasped quietly in pain and squeezed her eyes shut, memories flashing by her. Precious moments that might never be reclaimed.

"Is there anything I could do to help him remember?" Aster asked quietly, refusing to allow herself to despair.

"Well," The nurse thought for a moment, "You can show him pictures, tell him about you and how close you used to be."

Aster nodded, "Anything else?"

"You can also try and forge a new bond by doing things together like you used to."

"Ok," Aster nodded again, resolute.

"I admire your strength." The nurse told her.

Aster looked at him with steady determined eyes, “He is my brother, he would have done the same for me. I won’t give up on him.”

The nurse smiled sadly, "Of course, of course."

"When can I go back in?" She asked softly.

"Tomorrow, it would be too much stress for both of you to start today." The nurse replied as he walked her back to her room.

Aster spent the rest of the day looking at the pictures on her phone, little windows into the life she had with her brother.

Aster slept fitfully and was awake as soon as the sun rose. She knew that there was no way the doctors would let her visit her brother that early in the morning so she spent the time mentally preparing for what she knew would be one of the hardest days of her life. She watched videos of places her brother had taken, she scrolled through his Instagram posts surprised by how many of them were about her. 

"I've been so stupid," She whispered tears running down her face. 

She realized that she had taken his love for granted, and how strange it was, only when she feared losing it did, she understand.      

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, a nurse came to bring her to her brother's room.

"How is he today?" Aster asked hesitantly. 

The nurse seemed to know that she wasn't only asking about his physical condition, "He seems stronger today, we have attempted to prepare him for your visit but he shows no sign of remembering you other than as the girl who visited yesterday." 

Aster drew a shuddered breath, some small part of her had hoped that Lucas would miraculously get better. 

“I can do this. I must do this.” She told herself as she rode up the elevator yet again. 

Aster had always thought of herself as a strong person, but she felt that she would shatter if her brother rejected her.

The nurse turned to her before entering the room, “you don’t have to do this, we have qualified staff who can help your brother. No one would blame you if you didn’t go through with this. We all understand how hard this must be for you.” 

“He’s my brother, I love him, and I am determined to bring him back.” Before she could lose her resolve, Aster walked into the room. Lucas sat propped up on the bed as before, his dark hair messy and eyes still sleepy. The sight was so familiar that Aster almost broke down again. 

“Hello,” she said softly, trying to smile.

“Oh, hello,” Lucas’s voice was warm and welcoming.

Aster walked over to the bed, “How are you?”

Lucas gave her his signature confused puppy look, “I’m okay, just tired and sore.” 

Aster huffed, they probably had him on all kinds of painkillers. After ensuring that her brother was not in too much pain, Aster made small talk for the next half hour before the painful question came. 

“I-I'm sorry,” he paused, brow furrowed, “who are you.” 

Aster looked at him, heart-shattering. His brown eyes were gentle and confused, and she could sense ‘something’ missing. She could do this, not for her, but for him. 

“I am Aster, bookworm, owner of a huge craft graveyard, pet lover, and your sister.” She reached out to touch his hand but stopped when she feared it would be too much too soon. “I’m your sister and I love you.” 

“Oh,” he whispered, a lost look finding its way into his eyes. 

“T-thank you.” 

Aster smiled sadly, “Sooo, do you want to watch a movie or something?”

“Sure, do you want to...” he gestured shyly at the bed.

She smiled again, this time a real smile, and they spent the rest of her visiting time watching movies.

She and Lucas spent the next few days watching movies and bonding. Until the day of their first ‘fight’, Aster had attempted to begin showing Lucas pictures, not realizing that her brother was in more pain and therefore stressed. 

He was propped up in bed looking a little paler than usual when she walked in.

Aster couldn’t help herself however and began showing him pictures. It was going fairly well until she asked him if he remembered taking her to see a movie.

"No, No I don't remember," he snapped eyes full of frustrated tears.

Aster tried to calm him, "I know, I'm sorry."

"No, you don't know. Everyone either expects me to be someone I don't remember, or they treat me like I'm made of glass." 

Suddenly, all the monitors began beeping, and Aster was ushered out of the room. 

A nurse escorted her back to her room and called Luna, realizing that Aster was too upset and in shock to be alone.

 When Luna entered the room, Aster sat on the bed, staring blankly.

"Are you ok?" She asked gently, trying to prompt her friend to talk.

"No," Aster whispered.

Luna hugged her close, "I know, I know this is hard for you."

Aster sighed, some emotion returning to her eyes, "Everyone says this must be hard for me, and believe me, it is. I can't help but think that it must be harder for him, being trapped inside his own mind. I know he loves me, somewhere, somehow." Aster's voice broke and she took several deep breaths to compose herself. "I wish I could do more to help him break free. No one, especially such a loving and kind person, should have to suffer this."

Later on, Lucas is sent to rehab with Aster, he is recovering but still doesn't remember her.  

Clutching the edge of the table so hard that his knuckles turned white with the pressure, Lucas glared at her.

“Who are you!” He shouted, voice filled with anger, confusion, and pain.

“I’m Aster, ridiculous bookworm and owner of a huge craft graveyard. I’m your sister...” she broke off with a son, “And I love you. I love you so much.”

“Why?” He whispered, eyes wide and vulnerable.

Aster didn’t think it was possible, but her heart shattered yet again. 

“Because you are my brother, because you are an amazing person. And I love you, I always have and I always will.” 

The anger in his eyes faded and all that was left was confusion and overwhelming exhaustion. 

“Come on,” she whispered gently, “you must be tired,”

“Mhm,” he took a few shaky steps toward the bedroom.

Aster carefully approached him, “Do you want me to help?”

“No, I don’t think I can handle it right now...” Lucas looked at her apologetically, “I’m sorry.”

Aster forced a smile, “It’s okay. I understand.”

She watched sadly as he walked off, leaving her to her grief and loneliness.

“Goodnight, I love you.” She whispered, soft as a sigh. 

Aster desperately wanted things to back to the way they had been before when both of them were happy. 

Aster got ready for sleep in an empty daze that night, all of the brokenness and pain of the past weeks catching up with her. 

 Aster woke to a hand gently stroking her hair away from her forehead. She sat bolt upright and stared around her wildly, eyes finally settling on her brother.

“W-what, what are you doing?” Aster said the first thing that came to mind.

“Msorry,” Lucas whispered, eyes downcast. Aster saw the warm brown of his eyes begin to cloud over, the spark she had just seen fading and becoming the impenetrable shell he was so often hidden behind.

“No, it’s okay. You just startled me. It’s okay.” She said gently. 

Aster let her eyes flutter shut, lying as still as possible, “S nice, don't stop."

Lucas paused for a minute before he began gently finger-combing her hair. Aster let herself relax, enjoying the feeling of calm. Gradually, the combing stopped, and a gentle tugging began.

"What are you doing?" She murmured sleepily, looking up at Lucas.

"B-braiding your hair..." His voice was full of uncertainty and eyes blown wide like a deer about to bolt, "You used to like it... before 

Now Aster was the one frozen, "You remember...? Before?"

He shrugged, looking at the floor, "Just bits and pieces, flashes of things and fractured memories."

Aster sat up quickly and hugged him close

"Oh," his voice was breathless and surprised.

Slowly and hesitantly he hugged her back, "I-I love you."

"I love you more," Aster whispered smiling fondly, "I love you so much."

Alternate ending 

Aster blinked back tears as she stared at the fresh grave, how could it have ended like this. The last few days had been a blur, and all she felt was sorrow. 

Aster woke up slowly, a smile on her face as she remember the events of the previous night. After many long, stressful days her brother had remembered her. Smile still fixed on her face she got up quickly, getting ready in record time. As soon as she showered and dressed, she was in the small kitchen preparing her brother's favorite meal. Soft and fluffy scrambled eggs, pancakes warm and smelling of cinnamon, and a glass of cold milk. Grinning, she piled the bounty on a tray and walked carefully to her brother's room. 

“Lucas? You awake?” She called, hand ready to open the door. 

She listened for an answer and was confused when she got none. Even after the accident, her brother was a light sleeper and got up early.

“Lucas? I’m coming in.” She slowly opened the door.

When she entered the room, she found her brother still under the blankets.

She laughed softly, “Still asleep?” 

She set the tray down and walked over to her brother's bed gently shaking his shoulder. She froze when her hand fell on his shoulder, which was stone cold. 

“Lucas?” She whispered hesitatingly. 

When he still didn’t move, she knew the truth and collapsed at the side of the bed. 

“No!” She screamed desperately, “Not now, please not now.” 

Aster felt numb, all other sounds faded and she could no longer see her surroundings. All that was left was the crushing despair that she had lost her brother, her rock.

“No, don’t leave me, please.” She whispered. 

Aster watched as they filled the grave, and all she felt was emptiness. Her heart was empty, and she was lost. Her brother, her rock, was gone and she was adrift on an endless ocean.